Unfortunately, the coupler you lost is a little more complicated than it looks. It is keyed on both ends (has a flat portion in the hole) and the holes are of different diameter. I have no idea where you could find such a beast, but I would certainly try McMaster Carr.
Someone has got to reign in Thetford a bit on selling spare parts in assemblies. I'm far from an expert in trade laws, but I would not be surprised if their practices was illegal. Many companies, car and printer manufacturers I know for certain, must sell spare parts on the open market for a certain period of time after manufacturing ceases, and do so at "reasonable" prices. I think with printers it is 7 years (in terms of ink/toner cartridges). And I would not be surprised if such laws curtailed the kind of upselling Thetford practices. Could you imagine going to the dealer and asking for an oil filter, and you find it only comes with the mounting bracket and the oil pan? A bit of an unfair comparison because there are so many aftermarket products, but I think this points to the ludicrousness of this concept.
This has happened many times on this board with Thetford for various parts. For some time, and perhaps it's still the case, you could not buy the vinyl skirt without the hole bowl assembly. I had a seat hinge break on mine, what should be a $3-$5 part, and was told I had to buy the whole top cover assembly for ~$200.
I have seen a letter to the editor in Good Sam magazine about the vinyl skirt, and Good Sam intervened and Thetford sold them the skirt. So that's one potential avenue for you, but unfortunately that might only work for you and only that one time.
Here is a link to the letter and resolution. I'm not sure if the vinyl skirt is still available separately or not.....it seems to be it goes in waves. Sometimes it's a separate part, sometimes it's part of an assembly -- this "seasonal availability" is even demonstrated in the letter.
You might also check out some vendors overseas.....for some reason they seem to have better luck getting parts.
And it's not even like the Thetford is such an amazing product. It's not. It has loads of flaws, and this selling practice would give anyone seeking spare parts a good reason to go find an alternative toilet. But oh wait, there are no alternatives.
Any attorneys out there familiar with commerce law enough to shed some light on the issue?
Dave